British English vs. Malaysian English

Who says our English is teruk? Just read below - Ours is simple, short, concise, straight-to-the-point, effective etc.

1.WHEN GIVING A CUSTOMER BAD NEWS

Britons: I'm sorry, sir, but we don't seem to have the sweater you want in your size, but if you give me a moment, I can call the other outlets for you.

Malaysians: No stock.

2.RETURNING A CALL
Britons: Hello, this is John Smith. Did anyone call for me a few moments ago?

Malaysians: Hello, who call?

3.WHEN ASKING FOR PERMISSION
Britons: Excuse me, but do you think it would be possible for me to enter through this door?

Malaysians: (pointing at the door) Can ah?

4.WHEN DECLINING AN OFFER
Britons: I would prefer not to do that, if you don't mind.

Malaysians: Don't want lah. 

5.WHEN ASKING SOMEONE IF HE/SHE KNOWS YOU.
Britons: Excuse me, but I noticed you staring at me for sometime. Do I know you?

Malaysians: See what, see what?

6.WHEN SOMEONE DID SOMETHING WRONG
Britons: This isn't the way to do it. Here, let me show you.

Malaysians: Like that also don't know how to do!

Panda Shocked

杂菜饭

Funny after 5 seconds.....

某天 ~ 黃淙暐的老師 ~在課堂上出習題 ~ 作文名稱：我的家庭

我出生在一個非常貧苦的家庭，記得小時候，爸爸的生活很無聊，整天只能數錢，媽媽也是，整天都在掃錢。
媽媽也常常告訴我，我們家生活非常困苦～要我學著吃苦～
　所以我從小養成了刻苦耐勞精神，我將來的志願，是要找 200 隻會吃錢的怪物，好把家裡的錢都吃光，為那些可憐的小偷報仇！！


老師評語：去死啦！

三個吸血鬼到酒bar
一個點了 濃血
一個點了 淡血
最後一個只點了 白開水
前面兩個問他為什麼?
他拿出衛生棉說:
我有帶茶包!!!

師: "成績單有沒給父母看?"
Eric: " 有."
師: "那為什麼家長沒有簽章?"
Eric 捲起袖子露出傷 痕纍纍的手臂: "簽在這裡."

幾個七, 八歲的小男孩決定湊錢買玩具. 七湊八湊之下湊了四百圓台幣.
"四百圓可以買什麼呢?" 其中一位問道..
"我想我們可 以去買衛生棉." 另一個回答.
"衛生棉有什麼好?" 大夥兒一齊 問他.
"我也不太清楚 不過電視上說有了它, 就可以爬山, 滑水, 打球,
溜冰,自由快樂沒煩惱."

Funny Parking...